Nightmare
by RageGirl
Summary: One parter that got away from me as I wrote.


Author's note: It's been a very long time since I tried writing anything and a first for me to write anything PLL related. This has been knocking around in the back of my mind for a while now. It started out as something and as I was writing, any plot planning went out the window and transformed into this. No real spoilers other than just know that Emily and Alison are engaged and Spencer is Alison's half sister. Anyways, if you can make it through to the end, I salute you and don't be too harsh with criticism!

Emily Fields was usually a sound sleeper. There was comfort in the fact that she usually didn't move around much and kept to her side of the bed.

Alison DiLaurentis loved this about her fiancee.

What she didn't love, however, was how Emily was having nightmares around five times a week lately. Ever since A.D. had disappeared from their lives, Emily was always restless in her sleep.

There were nights when she would just move around a lot. There were nights when she would mumble in her sleep, seemingly trying to run from something or someone. The worst nights were when she would scream out, "NO! NO!" over and over again. There were the nights when Alison would shoot up and scramble to hold Emily in a loving embrace. She would pour all of her love into a comforting hug.

Those were the nights when Emily would refuse to talk about what happened in her nightmares.

"Spence, I've got to ask you something." Alison sat down in the Brew across from her half sister.

Spencer Hastings stopped typing on her phone and looked up at the blonde, the tone of her voice seeming off. "Yes?"

"It's – I'm – You see," Alison was struggling to find the words. Logically, she knew what she wanted to ask. She also knew that Spencer was the only one she could ask. "I know this will be hard for you. I know you're the only one I can ask."

"Color me intrigued," Spencer brought her coffee cup to her mouth. Her curiosity had been peaked since the moment she had got Alison's call. "Is everything okay?"

"I need to know what happened in the dollhouse. Everything. Please, Spence." Alison stared at the woman across from her, knowing full well there was a chance she could be refused. "I need to know," she repeated.

There was a good three minute silence. The air was heavy around them. Spencer could feel herself closing up and Alison could sense it. There were a lot of terrible things that Spencer lived through down there and the memory of every one of them came rushing back at the same moment. Spencer and the girls had come to terms with what happened down there, but it didn't hurt any less thinking about it and it was still heavy on their soul.

"Why?"

Alison considered lying. She didn't like that the others had gone through something and she had no power over it and was powerless to help. She felt like such a failure trying to comfort Emily sometimes. There were times when Emily just shut down for the day following a nightmare.

Chewing her lip, Alison swallowed the lump in her throat, "There are nights when Emily sleeps through the night. Then there's some that she screams out for you guys and shes struggling against something that isn't there and shes crying. When she wakes up, she's empty – she's not my Em." Alison traced an invisible line on the table. She stared at her hands, curled around a coffee mug, somehow hoping to seek comfort, "I go to bed with my fiancee and wake up next to a stranger."

"I know," Alison sighed, gathering the courage to look Spencer in the eye, "I know that I could ask Aria or Hanna, but I trust you to tell me the truth."

There was another silence. Spencer squinted her eyes, looking at her coffee cup like it was going to suddenly give her answers. "Think of a moment when you've never felt more lost and you've never wanted to leave a place behind and you would've done anything to accomplish that. Think of being trapped in your own worst nightmare, you're own personal living hell. You weren't sure if you were alone or if your friends were still breathing or if you were just dead in this was purgatory" She suddenly stared Alison down, "Multiply that by infinite numbers and you have what waking up in the dollhouse felt like."

Alison was rendered speechless, "There were times when I thought about ending it." Spencer whispered, examining her hands, searching for the non-existent blood. "The only thing that kept me alive was hearing the others. No one ever said a word, you could just hear doors slamming and feet shuffling."

Spencer had a dead look in her eye, "You could hear screaming. I think that was on purpose, Charlotte liked to fuck with our heads." There was a hollow laugh, and Alison regretted having to ask Spence in the first place, "We would have to pick, who would get hurt today, which one would suffer. And there was no point in not picking," Spencer looked up, sat up straight and stared at Alison, "You always had to make a choice,"

"I couldn't look at any of the girls for the longest time. Knowing I was the one to cause some of them pain, that was terrible." Spencer lowered her voice, "Yeah, I'd have nightmares too. I still do."

Alison nodded, taking this information in.

"I don't think all of us left the dollhouse." Spencer continued, "Part of us died in there."

There was a pause that Alison almost took as a signal to start talking. She was looking at Spencer and she wasn't looking at adult Spencer. She was looking at broken 17 year old Spencer who barely held it together.

"There are some days I wake up and want to fall back asleep forever. There are nights when I see Charlotte in my dreams. There are times when I'm sitting in the middle of a meeting and want to swallow as many pills as I can so I can be numb to everything forever."

Spencer leaned forward, "You want to help Em, Alison? You really want to help her? You've got to find a way to never let Emily think about this place and the fucking hell it put us through ever again. You want to find a way to comfort Emily? Turn back time and rise from the ashes sooner because we won't ever be able to wash off the dirt and grime of the dollhouse."

Spencer's voice had risen throughout her tirade. Alison knew her sister wasn't angry at her, she was just angry at life for dealing such shitty cards. There were no excuses to be made for what Charlotte did and what she put the girls through. Logically Alison knew she would never get answers as to what really went down in the dollhouse but she had to try.

She got up and scooted her chair around to Spencer's side. She gathered Spencer up in her arms just as the tears and sobs wracked Spencer's thin frame. Luckily, they were in a secluded corner and no one except for Ezra could really see what was going on. Alison could feel his piercing gaze and she looked up long enough to give a nod that let him know they were okay, Spencer was okay, her sister was okay.

"Spence," Alison found herself once again unable to comfort those closest to her. She swallowed and tried again, "I love you," she whispered, "I'm always going to be there to stop you from becoming numb."

The blonde was at a loss for words, desperate to find something in the English language that would give her sister peace of mind. She just held on a little tighter and started humming a calming tune that always seemed to help Emily.

A steaming cup and a plate of cookies were set in front of the pair. Blue eyes looked up into brown, "A cup of tea and cookies always help Aria settle down," Ezra smiled awkwardly. His gaze drifted to Spencer, who was looking at the steam rolling off the top of the tea, "Don't worry, there's still caffeine in there for you," Ezra patted Spencer on the shoulder and walked back to the register.

"I'm never going to claim to know what you guys went through, but I will always be there to make sure you guys are safe from now on." Alison vowed, knowing it wasn't just Emily who still had dollhouse demons.

And that night when Emily started to whimper and thrash around, Alison was right there, pulling her into a loving embrace, whispering loving words to her haunted fiancee.


End file.
